Tormented by transmitting nCoV causes loved ones to die

`Dad, I’m so sorry about this,` Michelle Pepe said, while kissing a photo of her father, Bernie Rubin.

In March 2020, when Covid-19 first broke out in the US, Pepe moved from Boston, Massachusetts, to Florida to attend his mother’s 80th birthday party.

`At first everyone wondered where he got it. It was from me. Dad got the virus from me. No one said it was my fault, but I knew it was true. I knew I couldn’t save him.`

This situation is similar to the pain of many people during the pandemic.

Michelle Pepe stands in front of her father’s office at the headquarters of furniture company Bernie & Phyl’s in Norton, Massachusetts, USA, on April 13.

On the eve of the anniversary of her father’s death, Pepe’s hands shook as she held a photo of her parents, Bernie and Phyllis Rubin.

After her mother’s birthday party, Pepe stayed in Florida to take care of her parents when the pandemic raged.

`I shouldn’t have given up and called an ambulance. It’s haunting to think of my dad being alone. I know he was very scared,` Pepe said.

Mr. Bernie’s funeral was just a quick burial, ensuring social distancing.

`I sank into real grief for a long time. Then my daughter said: ‘Mom, we thought we had lost him, but without realizing it, we had also lost you’. So,

Pepe decided to join online support groups, where she met people who shared the same pain, and sought the help of a rabbi, who guided her in reciting prayers for the deceased.

After waking up on April 13, Pepe prayed and lit a memorial candle, marking the one-year anniversary of his father’s death.

Pepe placed yellow flowers on Mr. Bernie’s grave.

After leaving the cemetery, Pepe visited the headquarters of the furniture company Bernie & Phyl’s, which her parents founded in 1983. She admired the wall hung with hundreds of autographed photos of baseball players.

At lunch, Pepe’s family goes to Mr. Bernie’s favorite restaurant.

One day later, Pepe woke up, kissed his father’s photo, looked at the calendar and breathed a sigh of relief.

`My father would be very miserable if he thought about how tormented I was. I want him to be happy and rest in peace,` she said.